Contributed by “S” (#43)

I’ve been married to my husband for going on 4 years. He never wants to spend time with me. He doesn’t like to cuddle or kiss. He doesn’t say I love you. He’s never romantic. He doesn’t listen to my worries or cares or thoughts. He falls asleep when I cry.

We have two children together. A two year old and a 2 month old. He works from home and I stay home with the babies. Every day is the same. I wake up at 6 am with the baby. I serve him coffee, breakfast, lunch and dinner. I do all the housework and take care of the babies. I pay all the bills, run all the errands, make all the important phone calls. He works 7-3 and that’s about it. The rest of the day he’s playing video games while I work around him. I bathe the children and put them to bed by myself and then I get an hour downtime before I go to bed. And then I wake up a couple of times at night with the baby. I live on a strict schedule everyday to make sure it all gets done smoothly.

OK! I have no complaint about this. I like my busy schedule. But I asked my hubby for one evening off a week. A few hours to relax. No babies. No chores. Nothing but peace and quiet locked in my bathroom with a cool cucumber mask, a bubble bath and my ipod. I had to really push him for this. He didn’t want to do it. I BEGGED. I got it one week (it was a disaster.) The next week he refused. This week he didn’t even say anything to me. He just walked out of the house and disappeared for a few hours before coming home and taking a nap.

Don’t I deserve ONE night off??? I’m not sure he even loves me anymore… or ever did for that matter.

I could tell all the stories. But I’ll just mention these. Wedding day – he was playing video games less than an hour after we said I do. Honeymoon – his mother kept calling and he would actually stop whatever we were doing to chat with her! Once for over an hour!

Contributed by a different “L” (#42)

My man and I have only been married for almost 2 years but so much about him annoys me. He can be very inconsiderate of others feelings. He doesn’t seem to care if he hurts me emotionally and says things then apologizes later but has already done the hurt. Then if I don’t forgive or say something like you’re just saying that he will go off on me again. If i ever cry he will mock me and criticize me. He calls me a fat butt and bitch a lot. It really hurts my feelings. We can barely go a day without arguing over something. He touches his penis a lot or whistles quietly when he sees another women and when I say something he says I’m just being paranoid and insecure. He also smiles at the attractive women he walks by but not woman who are older or plainly. He says he can’t help who he walks by. He makes stupid little inside jokes about a women’s mouth when we are at check out at the grocery store or video store and will hold out a long conversation with me standing right there. He rarely gives me compliments and even his mother is kinda rude to me and judgmental and barely knows me. I have mentioned divorce and he says he doesn’t believe in divorce and won’t sign. So it’s like he wants to keep me hostage and be mean to me while flirting with other women. It’s disgusting and wrong. He even said one of his stripper friends he used to see was worth more than me. He said she was worth $20 or more and I was barely worth $20 if that. He’s so mean to me and wants all the control. It’s his way or the high way. I can’t take it. I wish I had listened to my family and not even married him. Why are men such jerks sometimes is hard for me to understand.

Editor’s note: I don’t believe there’s any state in this country where you can be stopped from getting out of a marriage. It’s not a matter of his "signing off." Please consult a lawyer or legal aid organization.

Contributed by “L” (#41)

I met this guy online who lived a city over from me, our meeting was complete chance and we joked that it was fate. We talked via webcam and texted constantly for two days, we were totally hitting it off. On the webcam he told me over and over how cute and pretty I was. I am a second year college student and he Was 5 years older than me, and completely different than any other guy I have dated. He seemed fun, exciting, and, to my horrible misjudgment, very sweet.

He wanted to hang out and so did I. I still lived with my parents but was house sitting and dog watching and told him he could come over. I was so nervous, I had just recently ended a two year relationship. I changed outfits 5 times before him and his friend finally stopped by. They were there for about 20 minutes when the guy I liked started saying that his friends wanted to meet for dinner and that he really wanted to go. I was expecting him to invite me along but I was wrong. He told me they were going to go and that he would see what I was up to afterwards and asked me if I would be at home. I said yes and proceeded to sit at home for the next 6 hours. After no text or call, I sent him a text. I asked him if I didn’t meet his expectations, and he told me “kinda”. He would not even come out and say it, I told him Alright, and that he should just be upfront about it. He then responded by telling me what a cool chic I am. I said it was nice knowing him and all he gave me was a you too. Never an apology or explanation, and I am sure if I hadn’t asked him he would have just never talked to me again. I am a beautiful girl, but I have never felt so bad about myself. Suddenly by seeing me this guy lost all interest even after we had many conversations. For a week I looked in the mirror and just contemplated what part of me he didn’t like. No one has ever tore all my self confidence down so quickly.

Contributed by “K” in The South (#40)

It seems to be my lot to attract, and be attracted to jerks. My first husband lied to me constantly, ran around on both his second and third wives, and probably on me.

I caught my second husband on the phone, trying to close down a mobile home park, because he wanted to buy the land-no matter what happened to the people living there.

I fell in love with an attorney who chased me for weeks. Unfortunately, after a year of dating, he couldn’t tell his parent about me. They still loved his ex-wife, and threatened to disinherit him if he dated anyone else (or so he said.)

I became engaged to an attorney who wanted me to quit my job and work for him. I quit it on Friday, we spent the weekend together, and had a great time, or so I thought. On Monday, my birthday, I heard nothing from him. On Tuesday, I sent him an email teasing him about it. I got an angry answer and a vague, ” I think I’d rather be alone right now.” I never found out what mad him mad, but was glad I found out what a jerk he was before too late.

So now I find myself living with a man who seemed wonderful at first. No parents or children to deal with. Makes a really great living as a corporate bigwig. Loves animals and social media. I love to cook, he loves to eat. But he didn’t tell me he was a tea partier even after I told him I was a liberal. It took him six months to tell me. Wants to argue politics, which I hate. Watches the news every waking moment, including during dinner, which I also hate. He knows how I feel, he just doesn’t care. And I am tired of every meal turning into a battlefield. I just eat quickly and leave the room as soon as possible.

Last night a neighbor came over (which he frequently does.) We both like the neighbor. I come out and speak to him, and then I generally go back into my office and work or watch tv. I did this last night, but came out where they were to fix myself a drink. The neighbor asked me if I had read a book, and I said I had, prompting a conversation about our favorite authors. The whole time, the boyfriend make rude comments about my boobs and other assets which embarrassed me. I told him to be quiet and warned him that I would remind him what a jerk he was today. He continued.

After about a half hour he abruptly got up and said he was tired. It was obvious the conversation was winding down and my favorite show came on. He picked up the remote. I said to him “Hey, I’m watching that!” and he continued to turn off the remote. I didn’t want to make a scene in front of the neighbor, so I said good night to jackass and the neighbor got up, tried not to be embarrassed himself and said he needed to go. I walked him to the door. I have no idea what to do next.

But I know one thing, I have horrible judgment and need to stay away from men.

K in The South

Contributed by “G” in California (#39)

Hey girls,

Just a few hours ago I DUMPED a jerk…he was not markedly ‘jerky’ for a long time, but lately he just IS. I have surgery next week & tho we have been "involved" for a like 3 months now, he is totally taking me for granted…won’t move my stuff into my new place(I have 0 furniture for 1 month so far). He shined a BRIGHT flashlite in my eyes other nite AFTER I made the creep dinner!!! He doesn’t pay child support – THAT should have been a red flag, DUH! He does not mind "doing" me, but has a glitch when it comes to helping me when I am indeed very alone and could really USE some help. SCHMUCK!!!

He has -out of the blue it seems- taken to habitually arguing the stupidest crap( he is NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE in the drawer, for the record). Let me be frank: He is one DUMB S.O.B. His saving grace for the longest time- till recently- has been that " Yea, he’s dumb as a bag of dirt, true, but he is so NICE to me, so SWEET!"

Well, he is a jerk like all the others now…I do not know how to prevent this phenomenon; it keeps happening. They take me for granted at some point EVERY time and I am over 40(I look younger)…I feel like a s—_magnet!!!

I heard some other SUPER-jerk use that term 20 yrs ago, talking about some other chick( who actually WAS a bit of a doormat). UGGH!

What I told him thismorning, when I was fed up-last straw, etc, was "If you have such a hard time keeping a promise and want to badger me about a ride from surgery-follow-up, 10 miles away, when I have NOBODY- I didn’t say that as it goes without saying-I’ll just pay for a car ( I vow never to take a taxi again..they are the biggest creeps alive as u may or may not know, at least in my neck of the woods…I’d rather do that than beg like some pathetic mutt to give me a lift. ANY TRUCK-DRIVER last time I checked would be happy to do me the favor!! But not my smuck boyfriend.

I blind-sided him with a cruel truth or 2, that I was embarrassed to be seen with him, and that he is an idiot-BOTH TRUE. It just came out.

I am very lonely, VERY, but I could not take anymore smart-ass, cheap, stupid comments from a dummy and a weasel. I will feel sorry later, but I will just deal with it.


Contributed by “C” in Rhode Island (#38)

Last year his hairdresser and my hairdresser tried to fix us up. We chatted on the phone every day for almost a month. Finally the day came when he asked me to join him for lunch. I was so excited. The day came and I called him as planned. He was busy and said he would call me back. Needless to say he called that night said he was busy and that was the last I heard of him.

Fast forward to this summer. I found him on a social website, a friend of a friend. I sent him an innocent message just saying hi. Over this summer we slowly got close, talking every day and texting all day long. Hundreds of texts. This time was different. Lots of compliments and remarks of how nice it would be to be together. Then the fated let’s watch a movie tonight came from him. I couldn’t that night, but said tomorrow?  He said yes. The next day came. He called me at the end of my work day. We were on phone for 57 minutes and never once did he mention a movie. What he did do was complain about how women on dating sites want perfect hunkey men and at his age that wasn’t going to happen. I was totally taken back, trying to figure out how to turn his talk of other women around to the night we were supposed to be having. I never did and he ended the call. I didn’t hear back from him at all that night.

A few days later I may have sent him an email letting him know that he was a jerk and really hurt my feeling for blowing me off a SECOND time. He of course got mad and now is again not talking to me. Last year was bad enough. This time around even though I kept telling myself I wouldn’t, I did develop feelings for him. I really thought this was different with all the talk and kind words. Man was I wrong.

Moral to the story. Men don’t change. If they *#@* you over once, don’t be blinded and think they won’t a second time.

First time shame on them. Second time shame on me.

Contributed by “L” in Oregon (#37)

Yeah, so i fell in love when i was 15 with this guy who i thought was the world, young love and lust and all that bull right? well, we dated and he took my virginity and i took his (i hope he wasn’t lying when he said that i was his first.) I fell deep for this guy. i risked lot for him. i snuck out at all hours of the night to meet with him and hook up and do whatever he wanted. my school work went to shit and my dad was pissed. we dated for 11 1/2 months. my longest relationship ever, now i cant even trust a guy enough to go on a date. This guy cheated on me with countless girls and got me so depressed that i started cutting myself and he made me feel like shit because he told me it was my fault that he skipped school and got into drugs! what a freaking loser huh? He went out with this girl after me who was a skank and he cheated on her with me, and went back and forth between me and her, drove me to the point where i was drinking myself into oblivion everyday just to make it through all the bull. I am young and already bitter like a 50 year old divorced woman. isnt that sad?

I’m 17 now, and low and behold guess who wants back in my life? he does. he took me to a movie a few weeks ago and i kept my distance, but he somehow managed to wedge himself into my heart again. I dont know why we women are so kind to these losers! they dont deserve us. They really dont. its so hard to let go you know? we have such big hearts.

Contributed by “E” in Michigan (#36)

My boyfriend of five years recently told me he no longer likes the fighting and the arguing between us, so he showed ME the door our of our new apartment that we had been living in for only two months. He showed me the door because he wouldn’t help me while I did all the cooking; when I asked all he would say is “well, you don’t even cook every day”. He showed me the door because he wouldn’t help me or spend time with me when I was washing his dirty laundry every weekend, and he had some REALLY dirty laundry (he worked out intensely every day). He showed me the door because his expensive eating habits was draining my bank account since I had to purchase all the groceries every week. He showed me the door because he refused to help me clean our apartment while he went out to the trail and rode his bike for hours. He showed me the door because he hastily pressured me into signing a lease for “our” first place together that he chose behind my back because it was close to HIS job, HIS favorite park, and was within HIS price range. He showed me the door because “our” place isolated me from anyone else I knew, and it caused me to drive a two and a half hour commute every day, and I had to drive to the nearest laundry faculties alone. He showed me the door because he would constantly refuse invitations from my family to come over for vacations (free plane tickets, and lodging), holidays, or just to hang out. He showed me the door because while his father was dying in a nursing home for two years, I sat there with him and his mother every weekend, holiday, and vacation spending all my free time (outside of work and school) to be them. He showed me the door because I took a week off of work with no paid vacation time to sit by his side in the hospital for the last days of his father’s life. He showed me the door because my parents stopped speaking to me when they found out I was dating someone outside my religion. He showed me the door when I chose him to come to my graduation which meant my own father stood me up on that day. He showed me the door when I stayed in Michigan to be by his side at the nursing home instead of finding a good job in another state with a better economy. He showed me the door because he would tell me I ate too much and declared to my friends at my birthday that I had “put on some weight”. He showed me the door when I asked him to talk to the neighbors about slamming their door and shaking our furniture; he said it didn’t bother him, so he wouldn’t do anything. He showed me the door because he didn’t want me to bother him by starting a conversation because he would rather bring his job home and work than to speak to me after dinner.

He showed me the door because I asked him, crying on the floor of the bathroom, to help me. Help me with anything, the cleaning, the cooking, the groceries, the laundry, the neighbors, the manager at the groceries that stalked me every time I went shopping; anything! I too had to go to work full time, and go to grad school at night, and I couldn’t do it all alone. He showed me the door because when I asked him for help, he would deliver a sharp and quick no before I even finished my sentence. He showed me the door when I told him I was unhappy about “our” apartment and how isolated I felt. Worst of all he showed me the door when I asked him to compromise with me, to acknowledge me, and to care about my feelings as I did for him for five years. This spoiled only child showed me the door because he never had to learn to compromise, to care for others, to acknowledge anyone else’s requests; he never had to put his own desires aside for anyone else who wasn’t terminally ill ( meaning it wasn’t his choice). He showed me the door because he completely forgot about all that I did for his family, for him while he was in school, the support, the gifts, my time, my heart, my love, my devoted attention to his every request. Now I’m standing outside that door, still wondering what happened.