Contributed by “J” in West Texas (#9)

You have been telling everyone that you just don’t understand why I have filed for divorce. Let me refresh your mind.


  1. didn’t validate any of my feelings
  2. made me question my reality
  3. turned things around to be all my fault
  4. constant disrespect
  5. constant yelling
  6. intent to dominate me
  7. intent to control me
  8. problems were caused by someone/something else
  9. need to hang out in bars and strip joints
  10. kept me off balance and baffled
  11. made me walk on eggshells
  12. inappropriate and unacceptable behaviors (sleazy pornography and strippers)
  13. dictated to me how I should think and feel
  14. constant criticism of me
  15. cruelty
  16. dishonesty
  17. impulsiveness
  18. pessimistic outlook
  19. nasty power moves
  20. are paranoid and suspicious
  21. telling me I am crazy
  22. critical of me and others
  23. are ferocious
  24. are hostile
  25. have an arrogant demeanor
  26. think you are better than everyone else
  27. are unfairly competitive
  28. think you are special
  29. think you are perfect and infallible
  30. only pay attention to stuff that affects you personally
  31. are manipulative
  32. have a lack of empathy
  33. go off on tangents
  34. judge others as wrong
  35. moral intelligence, which is at a level of a 5-6 year old
  36. are envious
  37. are better than everyone else
  38. are contemptuous of others
  39. are cruel in little ways as well as big ways
  40. either attack or withdraw
  41. will trash anyone for your own self-justification
  42. spew a load of bile, abuse, contempt and threats
  43. think you need to punish me frequently
  44. can’t see that you have a problem – it is someone else who has the problem, theyneed to change.
  45. don’t want to change, the world needs to change
  46. don’t like authority figures
  47. are vindictive
  48. are backstabbing
  49. are evasive
  50. are cynical
  51. feel entitled to what you can take
  52. expect privileges
  53. opinions are better than anyone else’s
  54. feel entitled to exploit other people
  55. have a "gloom and doom" attitude. Henny Penny…the sky is falling
  56. are spiteful
  57. are impulsive
  58. are unpredictable
  59. have no remorse or regard for the rights of others
  60. pit people against others
  61. twist my words and actions
  62. are ruthless, demanding, and cruel
  63. are a control freak
  64. are a pathological liar
  65. constantly complain and criticize
  66. have frequently outbursts of anger and rage
  67. have a Jeckyl/Hyde personality
  68. throw childish tantrums
  69. are not satisfied with anything
  70. are arrogant
  71. use haughty stunts while raging
  72. think He/She/It/They/Them/You are the problem
  73. have an "you owe me" attitude
  74. think you don’t have to follow the rules
  75. are in denial
  76. use verbal jabs passing them off as jokes
  77. won’t allow me to have my own thoughts
  78. accuse and blame me for everything
  79. trivialize my job and ideas
  80. don’t allow me to talk, you interrupt me or talk on top of me
  81. you have a sense of entitlement
  82. undermine and squelch my ideas/suggestions as not right
  83. over indulge in gambling, drinking and strip joints
  84. need instant gratification
  85. call me very disrespectful vulgar names
  86. think only you are important
  87. think only you are right
  88. think only you have feelings
  89. think only you matter in this world
  90. think you work harder than me
  91. think you are sicker than me
  92. slam doors when angry
  93. break things when angry
  94. think your anger is due to someone else causing it
  95. smoke in the house to damage my lungs
  96. moved out 5 times
  97. belittle me
  98. humiliate me in front of your friends
  99. terrorize me
  100. remind me how stupid I am
  101. spill things and make me clean them up
  102. know how to do things better than me
  103. remind me daily that my job is not as important as your job
  104. threatened to take my kids from me
  105. threatened to make my kids hate me
  106. told me I couldn’t make it on my own
  107. two strippers whose real names were –Shawna and Kim
  108. your girlfriend, Tori
  109. lack of the words "I am sorry"
  110. your need of spending our anniversary with strippers then lying about it
  111. wanted things done your way, or it wasn’t right
  112. wanted things done for you right now
  113. are the first to point out others flaws
  114. are a very mean person
  115. suck up to people so they will think you are so nice
  116. are a pathological liar
  117. act superior to me
  118. think it was your job to correct me
  119. are conceited, argumentative, and selfish
  120. made me feel worthless
  121. had no conscience
  122. are an authoritarian
  123. liked to wake me up in the middle of the night so I would be tired the next day
  124. liked to take things away from me
  125. thought the things in the house was only yours, no one else could use them
  126. always think you have some deadly disease, too bad you didn’t
  127. expected me to be devastated when you withdrew from me..I wasn’t
  128. have a dismissive attitude of other’s feelings, wishes, needs, and concerns
  129. blame others for your circumstances and your failures

I will no longer allow any of these behaviors. You will assuredly deny each and every one of these things and insinuate that I need to see a psychiatrist. Go ahead, you can not hurt me anymore than you already have.

I was in this marriage for what I thought was love. Then I was in this marriage because I was stuck. Now I am out of this marriage for myself.

p.s. You Are A Jerk