Contributed by a different “L” (#42)

My man and I have only been married for almost 2 years but so much about him annoys me. He can be very inconsiderate of others feelings. He doesn’t seem to care if he hurts me emotionally and says things then apologizes later but has already done the hurt. Then if I don’t forgive or say something like you’re just saying that he will go off on me again. If i ever cry he will mock me and criticize me. He calls me a fat butt and bitch a lot. It really hurts my feelings. We can barely go a day without arguing over something. He touches his penis a lot or whistles quietly when he sees another women and when I say something he says I’m just being paranoid and insecure. He also smiles at the attractive women he walks by but not woman who are older or plainly. He says he can’t help who he walks by. He makes stupid little inside jokes about a women’s mouth when we are at check out at the grocery store or video store and will hold out a long conversation with me standing right there. He rarely gives me compliments and even his mother is kinda rude to me and judgmental and barely knows me. I have mentioned divorce and he says he doesn’t believe in divorce and won’t sign. So it’s like he wants to keep me hostage and be mean to me while flirting with other women. It’s disgusting and wrong. He even said one of his stripper friends he used to see was worth more than me. He said she was worth $20 or more and I was barely worth $20 if that. He’s so mean to me and wants all the control. It’s his way or the high way. I can’t take it. I wish I had listened to my family and not even married him. Why are men such jerks sometimes is hard for me to understand.

Editor’s note: I don’t believe there’s any state in this country where you can be stopped from getting out of a marriage. It’s not a matter of his "signing off." Please consult a lawyer or legal aid organization.