Extreme Jerks

I’ve used this website to joke about jerkiness. I’ve always thought of this site as covering a range of jerks: from loveable jerks to the mid-range of jerky men with no manners, no honesty and no sensitivity. However, we’ve seldom touched on the extreme jerks … the abusers of women and (sometimes) children. According to the 2012 Truth About Abuse Survey Report, published by Mary Kay Inc., business is up at domestic violence shelters. If you think of yourself as abused, you don’t need to hang around. Get help, get out. Please.

From the last page of the report: If you know someone who is being abused or if you are being abused, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline to learn about local resources. The hotline is open 24 hours a day and seven days a week. It is anonymous and confidential. 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224 or thehotline.org. Note that there is always a computer record of activity and an abuser may know how to access it without a survivor knowing. Learn more technology safety tips at nnedv.org/internetsafety.html.

Can you be scammed?

A few years ago, after a friend of mine was taken for about $10,000 in a romance scam she fell for, I posted a link to this MSNBC article: Seduced into scams: Online lovers often duped.

You’d think it would be almost impossible to fall into such a trap, but the people behind the scams are very bright at working the crowd to find their victims. This post on the Neuromarketing blog tells how the scammers can send millions of emails and quickly find a few patsies to make their enterprise profitable. The article highlights a common banking scam, but the same strategies can work on dating sites.

And remember, to a scammer Desperation = Gullibility

Are you waiting to be chosen?

I have stumbled across a very worth read for those of you who’ve found a reason to visit this site. Not that I mind your being here, of course. But, Natalie over on Baggage Reclaim has written Are You Waiting To Be Chosen? Why It’s Time To Put Away Your Choose Me Stick.” I won’t be offended if you leave this site to read it. Go! Scoot! Do it now! (then come back here and tell me what you think in the comments)

Contributed by “D” in Texas (#44)

I met a guy on POF, and after talking on the phone, decided to meet for coffee. He was VERY good looking, and when we sat down, he looked into my eyes and said he felt an incredible connection. After several cups of coffee, he convinced me that we should go back to my place. When we got there, he started grabbing food out of my fridge, and started eating it like he was starving. Of course he wanted sex, and afterward, he just stayed and stayed. He brought a bag, so here he was for the night. During the night, he kept getting up and looking around, especially in my guest room.

Not long after, he was coming over, so I closed the door to the guest room. He just goes to the bathroom a lot, and goes in that room. So I told him I wanted to keep the door closed so the cats won’t go in there. So……..he had some of his stuff on the bed in that room, and said he was getting his wallet, and closed the door after he went in. I have my bank statements and other types of paper on my desk. He was in there for a long time, so I walked in. He was standing there looking in his bag. I’m sure that he knows how much money I have, or I don’t think he’d be that interested. He also wants to know what kind of prescriptions I take, and he asked if he could have some trazodone. To go to sleep at night he takes trazodone, Benadryl, NyQuil and Tylenol PM. And, he keeps the NyQuil by the bed and sips on it all night. He asked if I had any xanax or hydrocodone.

I had a pile of my son’s clothes on the floor that I was going to take to Goodwill, and he started looking through them. He wanted them all! They were much too small for him. The next morning I made breakfast for him, hoping that he would leave. But he hung around for several more hours, eating my food, watching cable TV and watching the news. He kept wandering around from room to room.

Two days later, he showed up to take me to dinner. I was so embarrassed because he was dressed in my son’s clothes from head to toe. They were all too small, but he thought he looked great. When we got home, I told him that I had an early morning, and it hurt his feelings, but he did leave.

Now he’s hinting around that he wants to rent my spare bedroom, and that maybe I could give him a job. I can see it now, he would sit the whole time and watch CNN, and I would be doing all the work! He also wants to buy my car! I think he’s a nutcase.

I am not going to answer his calls and hopefully he will disappear! But those are the kind of people that are hard to get rid of. The bad thing is that he knows where I live…I need to be smarter when it comes to men! He is pretty good in bed, but very selfish. It’s all about him. I know there are good men out there, but for now, I am not available!!

The Beat Goes On …

The sad stories are endless and it’s very clear that a good man is hard to find. If you watched the previous post of Philip Zimbardo speaking, it appears that they’re getting even harder to find. The demographic shifts are significant. More women than men now graduate from college, for one, meaning that a woman may have to “move down” in her choice of a man. This site has always been a bit tongue-in-cheek, even though the rants I’ve published are clearly sincere and often speak of some very real pain. Still, there are good men out there. Neely Steinberg has written a worthy post on The Good Men Project … 20 Things I Love About Men. It’s worth a read. – RP