Contributed by “S” (#43)

I’ve been married to my husband for going on 4 years. He never wants to spend time with me. He doesn’t like to cuddle or kiss. He doesn’t say I love you. He’s never romantic. He doesn’t listen to my worries or cares or thoughts. He falls asleep when I cry.

We have two children together. A two year old and a 2 month old. He works from home and I stay home with the babies. Every day is the same. I wake up at 6 am with the baby. I serve him coffee, breakfast, lunch and dinner. I do all the housework and take care of the babies. I pay all the bills, run all the errands, make all the important phone calls. He works 7-3 and that’s about it. The rest of the day he’s playing video games while I work around him. I bathe the children and put them to bed by myself and then I get an hour downtime before I go to bed. And then I wake up a couple of times at night with the baby. I live on a strict schedule everyday to make sure it all gets done smoothly.

OK! I have no complaint about this. I like my busy schedule. But I asked my hubby for one evening off a week. A few hours to relax. No babies. No chores. Nothing but peace and quiet locked in my bathroom with a cool cucumber mask, a bubble bath and my ipod. I had to really push him for this. He didn’t want to do it. I BEGGED. I got it one week (it was a disaster.) The next week he refused. This week he didn’t even say anything to me. He just walked out of the house and disappeared for a few hours before coming home and taking a nap.

Don’t I deserve ONE night off??? I’m not sure he even loves me anymore… or ever did for that matter.

I could tell all the stories. But I’ll just mention these. Wedding day – he was playing video games less than an hour after we said I do. Honeymoon – his mother kept calling and he would actually stop whatever we were doing to chat with her! Once for over an hour!

9 thoughts on “Contributed by “S” (#43)

  1. I am so sorry you have to go through this, marriage should be a partnership. It boggles my mind why people act half-ass in their relationships, especially men!

  2. You only get one life to live. Do you see urself doing this for the rest of ur life. I’m a male and I feel once a girl is married and has kids she feels like she’s trapped and won’t leave him because of kids etc. Well fuck thattt u gotta do what makes you happy. If feeling the way u feel makes u happy so be it. If u feel like u can’t leave and he won’t change cheat on his ass. Find something that is gonna bring joy to ur life. First step is cheating 2 step is u realizing there are better men out there for u!

    • I can’t believe that you’re actually advising this woman to cheat! True, the guy she’s married with is no good, but is cheating on him the answer to her stress? I think not! If anything, it’ll only cause more trouble and complications.

      Just leave… That’s the only answer!

  3. leave his ass! he’s a freaking jerk, and you deserve way better. you are PRECIOUS and worth someone who will see how precious you are! a guy who sees your beauty and knows your worth IS out there… please, mama…think about it! you’re amazing, i know, because every lady is! you deserve to be with someone who realizes that! i’m so sorry he’s been such a jerk! 🙁

  4. Take care of your beautiful children, Darling! They are your treasure. Try to cherish your man anyway, and be thankful for the things you do have rather than upset about what you feel you’re missing. Tye children will grow and hubby will be who he is, he may disappear on you, too, so be prepared for that. Do what you can for yourself. It’s a lonely life, for sure. Not everyone has loads of friends and family who are all warm and fuzzy. Sometimes, life is hard…you be tougher!!

  5. Honey, let me tell you this…I just got rid of a man like that. He ogled every blonde he could find, never wanted sex (said it wasn’t me but he couldn’t get it up), would never compliment me, I paid all the bills while he went back to school and I watched his kids! I ditched him 6 months ago after he was talking to other women on the phone and there were nude pics on it. It is hard to go back to being you and doing things just for you, but if you don’t he will drag you down until you believe you are that miserable someone he thinks you are. By the way, don’t internet date…the guys on there are even worse. Get out while you still have some dignity.

  6. You are going to need to get help leaving this guy because you have a lot invested. However, you will lose your self, and then your children will not only have a bad example but they will not have the genuine “you” and miss out altogether. If you can’t leave for yourself, leave for the kids. That man is not going to change in this lifetime unless he has a real conversion and get religion, and even then it will be a hard life long struggle. Get some counseling, it can be cheap at a domestic violence agency. You ARE an emotional victim of domestic violence. Get help. You can do this but you need support. Don’t be afraid. It will be okay. Start on your journey toward real life now.

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