Do you ever wonder why domestic violence victims don’t leave? Listen to her story …
Interesting opinion piece from Nicholas Kristof in the New York Times
“To me, actually, talk about a “war on women” in the United States seems a bit hyperbolic: in Congo or Darfur or Afghanistan, I’ve seen brutal wars on women, involving policies of rape or denial of girls’ education. But whatever we call it, something real is going on here at home that would mark a major setback for American women — and the men who love them.”
“On these issues, Mitt Romney is no moderate.”
Not familiar with the story? Read more here in The Hindu.
I have stumbled across a very worth read for those of you who’ve found a reason to visit this site. Not that I mind your being here, of course. But, Natalie over on Baggage Reclaim has written Are You Waiting To Be Chosen? Why It’s Time To Put Away Your Choose Me Stick.” I won’t be offended if you leave this site to read it. Go! Scoot! Do it now! (then come back here and tell me what you think in the comments)
The sad stories are endless and it’s very clear that a good man is hard to find. If you watched the previous post of Philip Zimbardo speaking, it appears that they’re getting even harder to find. The demographic shifts are significant. More women than men now graduate from college, for one, meaning that a woman may have to “move down” in her choice of a man. This site has always been a bit tongue-in-cheek, even though the rants I’ve published are clearly sincere and often speak of some very real pain. Still, there are good men out there. Neely Steinberg has written a worthy post on The Good Men Project … 20 Things I Love About Men. It’s worth a read. – RP
Philip Zimbardo at TED
What do you think? Does the social analysis match up with your experience with / observations of men?
It all began one fall day. There was this guy that one of my friends introduced me to. He was really sweet and I agreed to meet up with him. He was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. He was really sweet and even asked before he kissed me. I didn’t know him for more than 2 days and he asked me out. I was soo excited.
We were a really public couple. We went to basketball, football, volleyball and just everything together. He was really tall and I’m really short but everyone thought it was cute. He was my idea of the world’s greatest guy.
When we got to the one month anniversery he took me into a jewelry store and told me to pick out a necklace. I was shocked but very surprised. He bought me a beautiful necklace. Then he told me that he loved me and that his heart was mine. I was head over heels.
Finally Christmas rolls around. I wasn’t expecting anything big. I bought him this really nice sweatshirt and some body stuff. He had went out, bought all of my family presents and then got me a gold glass dipped rose. IT WAS $100!
A few weeks after, him, my mom, and me sat down and talked about birth control. My mom was very surprised to have Zach talk about it with her. She approved greatly of him.
All this time, he was the sweetest guy ever. But all during the time, he was having problems with his parents. They thought I was too young for him. They kept on telling him " She’s only 15 and you’re 19, get a real girlfriend" He kept on blowing them off. It finally got to the point where he couldn’t live there anymore. My parents took a plunge and told him he could live with us.
He moved into our house and I was in heaven. Every day, I got to see him and talk to him and just be there with him. It was AMAZING! He actually sat down every night and talked with my parents about everything. He’d kick me out of the room just so he could talk to them. It wasn’t too long after that my parents fell completely in love with him. He even told my parents he was going to marry me. He was completely in love with me. He told him mom one night in an agruement that he loved me and was going to marry me!
After living at my house a few weeks, his parents invited him home for supper one night. That night, when he came back to my house, he was a completely different man. He completely shut me out of his life. A week after he had visited home, he moved back with no explanation. He never thanked my parents for everything, nada.
Before he moved out, he started talking to me about what would happen if we broke up. I told him not to worry about it because it wasn’t going to happen.
For 6 monthes/Valentine’s Day, I decided to do something really special. He’d been kind of distant for a while, so I decided to surprise him with tickets to his favorite band. I bought 2 and told him I’d pay for gas. He sounded excited.
Valentine’s day rolled around. He showed up at my house late with a dinky bouquet of flowers for me and one flower for my mom. We sat there and watched movies all night, just me and him and my parents. He never thanked my mom for supper, nothing. He was a jerk that night too. I’d dressed up for him and he wasn’t very grateful for all i’d done for him.
That Friday night, we drove down to Bismarck to watch his favorite band. He didn’t talk to me the whole way down. I thought he was mad at me, so I kept asking if he was ok. So we get to the concert and he finally admits something was bothering him but he didn’t want to talk about it now. We danced at the concert and ended up leaving early because he was getting crabby. My mom and dad had agreed to meet us half way and take me the rest of the day home. I fell asleep and finally woke up to him talking VERY loud on his phone to one of his buddies. I waited for him to get off the phone so we could talk. He didn’t get off until we met my parents. He started talking about something to the effect that we kinda needed a break and whatever. I told him we’d talk more about it tomorrow.
I had a speech meet the next day. I call him after the speech meet and he doesn’t answer his phone. I thought he was busy but we had made plans to hang out that night. I kept on calling him and calling him. FINALLY I got a hold of him. He was drunk. He starting jabbing on and on about how this was all my fault that he was drunk, that he had told me that he was going out and all this crap. I told him to call me the next day when he was sober and I hung up on him. I was completely pissed. I’m usually a pretty understanding person but I was screaming at him that night.
I never got a call the next day. I finally got a hold of him and told him I was coming over. He starting going on about how his parents were sick and all this crap. I still went over to his house. I walked down stairs and he was just lying there. I was going to start yelling at him until I saw the look in his eyes. He sat me down and I asked him what the hell went on last night. He looked all confused and I explained it to him that he tried to blame it on me. He completely denied it all. I started yelling at him but then I broke down crying. He told me that we needed to take a break. He had some stuff that was going on and that he couldn’t have a girlfriend to concentrate. I then made the mistake of asking him if he wanted a break or to break up completely. He looked at me and I started bawling. He just sat there and watched me cry, not saying a damn word. I was bawling, sobbing so hard I couldn’t breathe. He finally gave me a hug and said he just needed some time to think and get his life right, but he’d be back.
It’s been 3 monthes since he’s been gone. I’ve come to realize that he didn’t break up wtih me because of work. It was entirely because of his parents because they hate me. He has turned into a complete JERK and ignores me. He said he wanted to be friends but I can’t be friends with a jerk like that. He keeps trying to make me jealous with all of his girlfriend and stuff but I don’t care. He’s completely changed and is a complete asshole. I have a new guy who I know wouldn’t do taht to me and if he does, he’s going to get kicked in the nuts.