Contributed by “L” in Oregon (#37)

Yeah, so i fell in love when i was 15 with this guy who i thought was the world, young love and lust and all that bull right? well, we dated and he took my virginity and i took his (i hope he wasn’t lying when he said that i was his first.) I fell deep for this guy. i risked lot for him. i snuck out at all hours of the night to meet with him and hook up and do whatever he wanted. my school work went to shit and my dad was pissed. we dated for 11 1/2 months. my longest relationship ever, now i cant even trust a guy enough to go on a date. This guy cheated on me with countless girls and got me so depressed that i started cutting myself and he made me feel like shit because he told me it was my fault that he skipped school and got into drugs! what a freaking loser huh? He went out with this girl after me who was a skank and he cheated on her with me, and went back and forth between me and her, drove me to the point where i was drinking myself into oblivion everyday just to make it through all the bull. I am young and already bitter like a 50 year old divorced woman. isnt that sad?

I’m 17 now, and low and behold guess who wants back in my life? he does. he took me to a movie a few weeks ago and i kept my distance, but he somehow managed to wedge himself into my heart again. I dont know why we women are so kind to these losers! they dont deserve us. They really dont. its so hard to let go you know? we have such big hearts.

Contributed by “E” in Michigan (#36)

My boyfriend of five years recently told me he no longer likes the fighting and the arguing between us, so he showed ME the door our of our new apartment that we had been living in for only two months. He showed me the door because he wouldn’t help me while I did all the cooking; when I asked all he would say is “well, you don’t even cook every day”. He showed me the door because he wouldn’t help me or spend time with me when I was washing his dirty laundry every weekend, and he had some REALLY dirty laundry (he worked out intensely every day). He showed me the door because his expensive eating habits was draining my bank account since I had to purchase all the groceries every week. He showed me the door because he refused to help me clean our apartment while he went out to the trail and rode his bike for hours. He showed me the door because he hastily pressured me into signing a lease for “our” first place together that he chose behind my back because it was close to HIS job, HIS favorite park, and was within HIS price range. He showed me the door because “our” place isolated me from anyone else I knew, and it caused me to drive a two and a half hour commute every day, and I had to drive to the nearest laundry faculties alone. He showed me the door because he would constantly refuse invitations from my family to come over for vacations (free plane tickets, and lodging), holidays, or just to hang out. He showed me the door because while his father was dying in a nursing home for two years, I sat there with him and his mother every weekend, holiday, and vacation spending all my free time (outside of work and school) to be them. He showed me the door because I took a week off of work with no paid vacation time to sit by his side in the hospital for the last days of his father’s life. He showed me the door because my parents stopped speaking to me when they found out I was dating someone outside my religion. He showed me the door when I chose him to come to my graduation which meant my own father stood me up on that day. He showed me the door when I stayed in Michigan to be by his side at the nursing home instead of finding a good job in another state with a better economy. He showed me the door because he would tell me I ate too much and declared to my friends at my birthday that I had “put on some weight”. He showed me the door when I asked him to talk to the neighbors about slamming their door and shaking our furniture; he said it didn’t bother him, so he wouldn’t do anything. He showed me the door because he didn’t want me to bother him by starting a conversation because he would rather bring his job home and work than to speak to me after dinner.

He showed me the door because I asked him, crying on the floor of the bathroom, to help me. Help me with anything, the cleaning, the cooking, the groceries, the laundry, the neighbors, the manager at the groceries that stalked me every time I went shopping; anything! I too had to go to work full time, and go to grad school at night, and I couldn’t do it all alone. He showed me the door because when I asked him for help, he would deliver a sharp and quick no before I even finished my sentence. He showed me the door when I told him I was unhappy about “our” apartment and how isolated I felt. Worst of all he showed me the door when I asked him to compromise with me, to acknowledge me, and to care about my feelings as I did for him for five years. This spoiled only child showed me the door because he never had to learn to compromise, to care for others, to acknowledge anyone else’s requests; he never had to put his own desires aside for anyone else who wasn’t terminally ill ( meaning it wasn’t his choice). He showed me the door because he completely forgot about all that I did for his family, for him while he was in school, the support, the gifts, my time, my heart, my love, my devoted attention to his every request. Now I’m standing outside that door, still wondering what happened.

Contributed by “R” in Maryland (#34)

This situation has not only affected me mental, financially, but most of all for the rest of my life. Here is my story… In March of 2006 I met this guy through a dating site and we talked on the phone for a week before meeting each other. When we finally met, we were inseparable. We did everything together, he bought me any and everything I wanted, he treated me like a queen.

Granted he did have a criminal past, but I didn’t hold that against him. No one is perfect. July 2006 he proposed to me, I didn’t even ask for the proposal. It was a huge surprise, but I did say yes. In February 2007, we bought a house together and was planning for our wedding to be held in September 2008. Well, when we bought our house; my parents were going through a divorce and my mom moved in with us.

In April 2008, my mom received a phone call from one of her part time job supervisors. He asked my mom did he know someone by the name of (he asked for my fiancé) and my mom said yes. So the supervisor goes on to tell my mom my fiancé has been stealing money out of my mom’s part time jobs bank account. My mom was outraged, I was in a state of shock, embarrassed, and hurt. That day my mom kicked my fiancé out of our house.

The next week a police detective showed up at my door looking for my fiancé for stealing money and equipment from his previous 3 jobs. After talking with the police detective my now ex-fiancé not only lied to me about owning his own trucking company, he lied about his criminal record, he has been stealing from these companies for the past year, he lied to me about his whole life! I didn’t see not one clue from his lies. He was doing everything right. He went to work, paid the bills, didn’t go out with friends or his family at all. From his actions and lies he is now in prison.

As for me I’m 23 now, my house is now in foreclosure and I had to file bankruptcy because we not only had a house together we had a truck, loans, and money lost from paying for the wedding that never happen. There is a whole lot more to this story, but it would just be to long. I not only suffer from having any type of relationship with a guy, cause I fear they will hurt me just like my ex-fiancé did, but I sometimes blame myself for this. Why did this happen to me? I was never the type to let a man get that close to me, and I let that all go away when I met him. Never again will I let that happen. Men are jerks! Ladies don’t let your guard down even if you find prince charming.

Contributed by “A” in Pennsylvania (#33)

I am a 51 year old widow. Three years ago I was introduced by a friend to a widower that was 19 years older than me. He treated me like a lady. He would take me to Atlantic City (which I found out later was free for him, because he was using his friend's comps).

One day while at the shore I got a phone call that I needed to call someone on business. He got so angry that you would have thought I had did something awful. I was scared and cried. I said to take me home, but the rest of the day he made me walk along the beach, but not talking. I let that go.

I bought myself a used Corvette, and he screamed and yelled at me like we were married or lived together. He wouldn't see me for days because of my purchase. I thought most men would say "wow, take me for a ride in it, or can I drive it." No, not him.

We went shopping the first Christmas, and he wanted a Movado watch. I paid around $1000 for it, which I hadn't done for a man ever before. When I mentioned my gift, he said "we'll come back some other time." I said no we aren't, so we went into a jewelry store, where he had me purchase the diamond ring, and then he wrote a check to reimburse me.

Other times we would go to a drive through, and he wouldn't offer to pay, and would let me pay for his food. He would go with me to the grocery store and put a friend's birthday card with my groceries, and stupid me would end up paying for it. It only got worse.

His granddaughter who is 24 was living with him at first, and unknown to me, was a drug addict. One of his daughter's had passed away years ago with alcoholism (the girl's mother). His other daughter is some executive vice president of a cable company, and didn't even want to meet me, ignored me, hated me, because she was afraid he would die, and I might get his money (by the way he had money, is in stocks heavily). Her name was on his home, and he said his will stated everything goes to her, so I don't know what she was worried about! I never got invited to any family functions or anything, just like I was a piece of trash.

I forgot to mention in his earlier years he was an alcoholic, was a bartender and loved the women. He left his wife for another woman for several months, then ran around on the girlfriend, then his wife took him back, and he still ran around on her. I'm glad I didn't know him then! Well when I would ever tell him how selfish he was, or how mean he was, his face got really red, and he would scream at me at the top of his lungs. He told me once he would love to knock my head off of my shoulders.

The latest is me being down in the dumps, and calling him while drinking wine. I guess I spoke the truth, and he screamed at me over the phone saying "f" you, and called me a whore. He hasn't called me at all to see how I am doing (since I am very depressed in my life at this time), and can just easily say he was lying and never loved me like he said. It's like this man has absolutely no feelings at all. He only cares for himself and his daughter and granddaughters. My heart is broken.

Ladies, if you ever meet this 70 year old man in the Philadelphia area who has white hair and gorgeous blue eyes, run as fast as you can, before you are hurt and tortured mentally. He had physically abused his wife when she was living, but never touched me, because he knew I would have him arrested.

Contributed by “S” in Utah (#32)

Hi …

Here is my story which demonstrates why I believe men are jerks.

I am an attractive, young-looking shapely, fun woman in my 40s … My appearance has been described as anything from cute to gorgeous. Since I divorced I have dated too numerous to mention guys who have been "slow", i.e. slow in the physical intimacy department. Like most women, I try to cut my men some slack and let things happen naturally. Sadly in most instances, I have found men will STAY in a "buddy" relationship a long time (i.e. a year or more) where they are not initiating sex or anything close, for reasons I don’t fully understand. Like many women, I thought that these men were being respectful and eventually our relationship would lead to something deeper and long lasting. I was so wrong!

In one case, my purpose was to provide companionship and make the other girlfriend jealous. I found out later he even gave us the same gifts at birthdays and Christmas. In another case, initial late nights of endless kissing and cuddling gave way in two months to a call every Tuesday and a date every Saturday that went on ’til I put my needs for at least some level of kissing and physical touching on the line. Eventually he squirmed away and wanted to be just friends (I don’t know how this differed from what we were when we were dating but I’ve not heard from him so I guess that is what just friends is). Still another man took six months to kiss me, then when I wouldn’t buy an annuity policy he was selling, it was over and I never heard from him again. The latest: initial passion the first month has been replaced by him being "sick" every time we could possibly be alone together the second month. Stomach aches, head aches, allergies … every time! Amazingly he cures easily and quickly when we are out in public in a group setting.

I have tried to show a little class and am not jumping anybody’s bones here. I definitely wait for cues, signals, and overtures, but even when the timing is right or when I suggest I’d be open to a more intimate relationship, these men are just not able to perform a passionate kiss and caress my breasts or slide my hand down their pants.

Ladies don’t waste your time thinking that a lack of physical affection is all about a guy’s respect for you as you will be WAITING a long time for your "prince" to give you the love and affection you totally deserve. As you can see above, I have made this mistake multiple times (which I suppose speaks to choices I have made in men that haven’t been the wisest relationship choices). At least I’m learning more quickly! It’s one thing to wait for the right time for physical intimacy (i.e., sexual intercourse), but when you can see that you are not getting emotional or physical connection from him (yet he continues to call …), he is wasting your precious time so take my advice and MOVE ON!

Sadder but wiser in Salt Lake City

Contributed by “J” in Ohio (#31)

I met this guy in high school…we were in a ton of classes together. One Day he asks me to go out with him… It was that day before Valentines day. So sweet! So any ways we ended up together for 4+ years. Everything was going great He asked me to marry him, I got a great night job. Then, behind my back my cousin and her best friend start going over to his house. He starts dating her friend…and a couple of weeks later he CALLS me and tells me that he never loved me and he was leaving me for someone else and to give him back his ring. I gave him back the ring….and would you know that a month after that he traded in my ring for a bigger one and ask him to marry her and they did. (about a year after that he told my cousin that he shouldn't have done that and he should have stayed with me) WHAT EVER JERK!!!!!!!!!

Contributed by “L” in Washington (#30)

When I first met him, he was very attentive, and always called when he said he would. After a while we moved in together and that is when it all changed.

Living together means you have to pay bills together. For some reason, he challenged me each time a bill came up, and tried to get out of it. For one of his reasons, He constantly complained that his job was soooo much better than mine, and that he makes more, and that he works so much harder than me (I never once tried to "compete" with him regarding our jobs)… He got fired from his job for disobeying direct orders and tried to blame it on them. He was always quick to blame anyone and anything but himself. He always bragged how he worked so hard but later when I talked to his co-workers, they said he was the most lazy and manipulative person they'd ever worked with.

Almost on a daily basis, I was accused that I was cheating on him and talking to "so many other guys" when this was far from the truth. When I saw his mail on his myspace account he talked to about ten girls on a regular basis and called at least five of them all the time! I didn't get it. Sorry for me but I shut down and hardly talked to any of my real friends. He told me I was a disgusting slut because I was in the military for 7 years (honorably discharged) and said that "all military girls are total sluts." He even went as far as to delete numbers from my phone of many of my male contacts and deleted people when he hacked into my email/myspace.

He took it upon himself to track every webpage I visited and even downloaded a program to get the passwords to everything I had a password to and checked that all the time before I deleted it from my computer.

He was violent with me. He used to scream in my face about how I was a slut because a guy emailed me and told me in the end of his letter "talk to you later beautiful". He told me I was a liar but I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells because no matter WHAT I DID HE WOULD TWIST IT INTO SOMETHING CRAZY!! I'd want to go get some groceries (which I always purchased, and always cooked for him) and he'd say "Who are you gonna have sex with?" and call my phone while I was gone demanding to know what I was doing. I never once cheated on him or even wanted to cheat on him. I was blind, stupid and in love.

To top it all off, he totalled my beautiful car that I had paid off for over a year and spent time, money and lots of TLC on. He was stupid and turned left in front of someone who was going straight. I was furious but got an insurance settlement and for some reason he wanted me to give him a big chunk of it, saying that he deserves some of the money because he was driving… HOW STUPID! I never gave him a DIME! When I got a new car, he told me that it was stupid and how I looked stupid in it. He never had a nice word to say.

He was violent with me as well. He liked to hold me down against my will and scream in my ear. He liked to pick me up and shove me against a wall and drop me to the floor for things like getting a text message from a friend across the country. He destroyed a wall and a door in our apartment after we broke up the first time and hacked into my messenger and read a few messages I exchanged with an old friend. The police came that night and now he is living with his mommy rent free and bill free and there is a no contact order issued.

If I have to, I will testify against him in court. I can't believe I let myself be treated so bad for so long and just tried to think "oh it will get better." Because of him, my credit is ruined, my car was totalled, my psyche is totally messed up and who knows if I will ever love someone.

He's the biggest manipulator, liar and evil person on the planet.

Contributed by “V” in Texas (#28)

About five months ago my husband of almost ten years just decided he wanted us to separate, he needed a "break". I was recovering from breast cancer at the time. Since I’ve moved out, I have found out that his "break" has included an affair he was having prior to my leaving and then many, many women since. He decided he wanted a woman with "normal" breasts. He has now become an internet "predator". He is an active member of date.com, moredate.com, maturedatelink.com, eharmony.com and match.com. He’s seeing so many women that I’m amazed he still has time for his business. This man is seriously evil. I just cannot believe I loved him with all my heart for so many years and he threw me away like yesterday’s newspaper! His name should be in the dictionary beside the word "jerk".