S.E. Cupp on understanding women. Via CNN’s Crossfire.
I met a guy on POF, and after talking on the phone, decided to meet for coffee. He was VERY good looking, and when we sat down, he looked into my eyes and said he felt an incredible connection. After several cups of coffee, he convinced me that we should go back to my place. When we got there, he started grabbing food out of my fridge, and started eating it like he was starving. Of course he wanted sex, and afterward, he just stayed and stayed. He brought a bag, so here he was for the night. During the night, he kept getting up and looking around, especially in my guest room.
Not long after, he was coming over, so I closed the door to the guest room. He just goes to the bathroom a lot, and goes in that room. So I told him I wanted to keep the door closed so the cats won’t go in there. So……..he had some of his stuff on the bed in that room, and said he was getting his wallet, and closed the door after he went in. I have my bank statements and other types of paper on my desk. He was in there for a long time, so I walked in. He was standing there looking in his bag. I’m sure that he knows how much money I have, or I don’t think he’d be that interested. He also wants to know what kind of prescriptions I take, and he asked if he could have some trazodone. To go to sleep at night he takes trazodone, Benadryl, NyQuil and Tylenol PM. And, he keeps the NyQuil by the bed and sips on it all night. He asked if I had any xanax or hydrocodone.
I had a pile of my son’s clothes on the floor that I was going to take to Goodwill, and he started looking through them. He wanted them all! They were much too small for him. The next morning I made breakfast for him, hoping that he would leave. But he hung around for several more hours, eating my food, watching cable TV and watching the news. He kept wandering around from room to room.
Two days later, he showed up to take me to dinner. I was so embarrassed because he was dressed in my son’s clothes from head to toe. They were all too small, but he thought he looked great. When we got home, I told him that I had an early morning, and it hurt his feelings, but he did leave.
Now he’s hinting around that he wants to rent my spare bedroom, and that maybe I could give him a job. I can see it now, he would sit the whole time and watch CNN, and I would be doing all the work! He also wants to buy my car! I think he’s a nutcase.
I am not going to answer his calls and hopefully he will disappear! But those are the kind of people that are hard to get rid of. The bad thing is that he knows where I live…I need to be smarter when it comes to men! He is pretty good in bed, but very selfish. It’s all about him. I know there are good men out there, but for now, I am not available!!
I’ve been married to my husband for going on 4 years. He never wants to spend time with me. He doesn’t like to cuddle or kiss. He doesn’t say I love you. He’s never romantic. He doesn’t listen to my worries or cares or thoughts. He falls asleep when I cry.
We have two children together. A two year old and a 2 month old. He works from home and I stay home with the babies. Every day is the same. I wake up at 6 am with the baby. I serve him coffee, breakfast, lunch and dinner. I do all the housework and take care of the babies. I pay all the bills, run all the errands, make all the important phone calls. He works 7-3 and that’s about it. The rest of the day he’s playing video games while I work around him. I bathe the children and put them to bed by myself and then I get an hour downtime before I go to bed. And then I wake up a couple of times at night with the baby. I live on a strict schedule everyday to make sure it all gets done smoothly.
OK! I have no complaint about this. I like my busy schedule. But I asked my hubby for one evening off a week. A few hours to relax. No babies. No chores. Nothing but peace and quiet locked in my bathroom with a cool cucumber mask, a bubble bath and my ipod. I had to really push him for this. He didn’t want to do it. I BEGGED. I got it one week (it was a disaster.) The next week he refused. This week he didn’t even say anything to me. He just walked out of the house and disappeared for a few hours before coming home and taking a nap.
Don’t I deserve ONE night off??? I’m not sure he even loves me anymore… or ever did for that matter.
I could tell all the stories. But I’ll just mention these. Wedding day – he was playing video games less than an hour after we said I do. Honeymoon – his mother kept calling and he would actually stop whatever we were doing to chat with her! Once for over an hour!
My man and I have only been married for almost 2 years but so much about him annoys me. He can be very inconsiderate of others feelings. He doesn’t seem to care if he hurts me emotionally and says things then apologizes later but has already done the hurt. Then if I don’t forgive or say something like you’re just saying that he will go off on me again. If i ever cry he will mock me and criticize me. He calls me a fat butt and bitch a lot. It really hurts my feelings. We can barely go a day without arguing over something. He touches his penis a lot or whistles quietly when he sees another women and when I say something he says I’m just being paranoid and insecure. He also smiles at the attractive women he walks by but not woman who are older or plainly. He says he can’t help who he walks by. He makes stupid little inside jokes about a women’s mouth when we are at check out at the grocery store or video store and will hold out a long conversation with me standing right there. He rarely gives me compliments and even his mother is kinda rude to me and judgmental and barely knows me. I have mentioned divorce and he says he doesn’t believe in divorce and won’t sign. So it’s like he wants to keep me hostage and be mean to me while flirting with other women. It’s disgusting and wrong. He even said one of his stripper friends he used to see was worth more than me. He said she was worth $20 or more and I was barely worth $20 if that. He’s so mean to me and wants all the control. It’s his way or the high way. I can’t take it. I wish I had listened to my family and not even married him. Why are men such jerks sometimes is hard for me to understand.
Editor’s note: I don’t believe there’s any state in this country where you can be stopped from getting out of a marriage. It’s not a matter of his "signing off." Please consult a lawyer or legal aid organization.
I met this guy online who lived a city over from me, our meeting was complete chance and we joked that it was fate. We talked via webcam and texted constantly for two days, we were totally hitting it off. On the webcam he told me over and over how cute and pretty I was. I am a second year college student and he Was 5 years older than me, and completely different than any other guy I have dated. He seemed fun, exciting, and, to my horrible misjudgment, very sweet.
He wanted to hang out and so did I. I still lived with my parents but was house sitting and dog watching and told him he could come over. I was so nervous, I had just recently ended a two year relationship. I changed outfits 5 times before him and his friend finally stopped by. They were there for about 20 minutes when the guy I liked started saying that his friends wanted to meet for dinner and that he really wanted to go. I was expecting him to invite me along but I was wrong. He told me they were going to go and that he would see what I was up to afterwards and asked me if I would be at home. I said yes and proceeded to sit at home for the next 6 hours. After no text or call, I sent him a text. I asked him if I didn’t meet his expectations, and he told me “kinda”. He would not even come out and say it, I told him Alright, and that he should just be upfront about it. He then responded by telling me what a cool chic I am. I said it was nice knowing him and all he gave me was a you too. Never an apology or explanation, and I am sure if I hadn’t asked him he would have just never talked to me again. I am a beautiful girl, but I have never felt so bad about myself. Suddenly by seeing me this guy lost all interest even after we had many conversations. For a week I looked in the mirror and just contemplated what part of me he didn’t like. No one has ever tore all my self confidence down so quickly.
It seems to be my lot to attract, and be attracted to jerks. My first husband lied to me constantly, ran around on both his second and third wives, and probably on me.
I caught my second husband on the phone, trying to close down a mobile home park, because he wanted to buy the land-no matter what happened to the people living there.
I fell in love with an attorney who chased me for weeks. Unfortunately, after a year of dating, he couldn’t tell his parent about me. They still loved his ex-wife, and threatened to disinherit him if he dated anyone else (or so he said.)
I became engaged to an attorney who wanted me to quit my job and work for him. I quit it on Friday, we spent the weekend together, and had a great time, or so I thought. On Monday, my birthday, I heard nothing from him. On Tuesday, I sent him an email teasing him about it. I got an angry answer and a vague, ” I think I’d rather be alone right now.” I never found out what mad him mad, but was glad I found out what a jerk he was before too late.
So now I find myself living with a man who seemed wonderful at first. No parents or children to deal with. Makes a really great living as a corporate bigwig. Loves animals and social media. I love to cook, he loves to eat. But he didn’t tell me he was a tea partier even after I told him I was a liberal. It took him six months to tell me. Wants to argue politics, which I hate. Watches the news every waking moment, including during dinner, which I also hate. He knows how I feel, he just doesn’t care. And I am tired of every meal turning into a battlefield. I just eat quickly and leave the room as soon as possible.
Last night a neighbor came over (which he frequently does.) We both like the neighbor. I come out and speak to him, and then I generally go back into my office and work or watch tv. I did this last night, but came out where they were to fix myself a drink. The neighbor asked me if I had read a book, and I said I had, prompting a conversation about our favorite authors. The whole time, the boyfriend make rude comments about my boobs and other assets which embarrassed me. I told him to be quiet and warned him that I would remind him what a jerk he was today. He continued.
After about a half hour he abruptly got up and said he was tired. It was obvious the conversation was winding down and my favorite show came on. He picked up the remote. I said to him “Hey, I’m watching that!” and he continued to turn off the remote. I didn’t want to make a scene in front of the neighbor, so I said good night to jackass and the neighbor got up, tried not to be embarrassed himself and said he needed to go. I walked him to the door. I have no idea what to do next.
But I know one thing, I have horrible judgment and need to stay away from men.
K in The South
Just a few hours ago I DUMPED a jerk…he was not markedly ‘jerky’ for a long time, but lately he just IS. I have surgery next week & tho we have been "involved" for a like 3 months now, he is totally taking me for granted…won’t move my stuff into my new place(I have 0 furniture for 1 month so far). He shined a BRIGHT flashlite in my eyes other nite AFTER I made the creep dinner!!! He doesn’t pay child support – THAT should have been a red flag, DUH! He does not mind "doing" me, but has a glitch when it comes to helping me when I am indeed very alone and could really USE some help. SCHMUCK!!!
He has -out of the blue it seems- taken to habitually arguing the stupidest crap( he is NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE in the drawer, for the record). Let me be frank: He is one DUMB S.O.B. His saving grace for the longest time- till recently- has been that " Yea, he’s dumb as a bag of dirt, true, but he is so NICE to me, so SWEET!"
Well, he is a jerk like all the others now…I do not know how to prevent this phenomenon; it keeps happening. They take me for granted at some point EVERY time and I am over 40(I look younger)…I feel like a s—_magnet!!!
I heard some other SUPER-jerk use that term 20 yrs ago, talking about some other chick( who actually WAS a bit of a doormat). UGGH!
What I told him thismorning, when I was fed up-last straw, etc, was "If you have such a hard time keeping a promise and want to badger me about a ride from surgery-follow-up, 10 miles away, when I have NOBODY- I didn’t say that as it goes without saying-I’ll just pay for a car ( I vow never to take a taxi again..they are the biggest creeps alive as u may or may not know, at least in my neck of the woods…I’d rather do that than beg like some pathetic mutt to give me a lift. ANY TRUCK-DRIVER last time I checked would be happy to do me the favor!! But not my smuck boyfriend.
I blind-sided him with a cruel truth or 2, that I was embarrassed to be seen with him, and that he is an idiot-BOTH TRUE. It just came out.
I am very lonely, VERY, but I could not take anymore smart-ass, cheap, stupid comments from a dummy and a weasel. I will feel sorry later, but I will just deal with it.
GOOD RIDDANCE!!! O&O, G in CA
Last year his hairdresser and my hairdresser tried to fix us up. We chatted on the phone every day for almost a month. Finally the day came when he asked me to join him for lunch. I was so excited. The day came and I called him as planned. He was busy and said he would call me back. Needless to say he called that night said he was busy and that was the last I heard of him.
Fast forward to this summer. I found him on a social website, a friend of a friend. I sent him an innocent message just saying hi. Over this summer we slowly got close, talking every day and texting all day long. Hundreds of texts. This time was different. Lots of compliments and remarks of how nice it would be to be together. Then the fated let’s watch a movie tonight came from him. I couldn’t that night, but said tomorrow? He said yes. The next day came. He called me at the end of my work day. We were on phone for 57 minutes and never once did he mention a movie. What he did do was complain about how women on dating sites want perfect hunkey men and at his age that wasn’t going to happen. I was totally taken back, trying to figure out how to turn his talk of other women around to the night we were supposed to be having. I never did and he ended the call. I didn’t hear back from him at all that night.
A few days later I may have sent him an email letting him know that he was a jerk and really hurt my feeling for blowing me off a SECOND time. He of course got mad and now is again not talking to me. Last year was bad enough. This time around even though I kept telling myself I wouldn’t, I did develop feelings for him. I really thought this was different with all the talk and kind words. Man was I wrong.
Moral to the story. Men don’t change. If they *#@* you over once, don’t be blinded and think they won’t a second time.
First time shame on them. Second time shame on me.